some good bad jokes

[VladTepes]

My friend Iain has one eye bigger than the other.



I had to stop taking my dog to the park because ducks kept biting him. He's a purebread.



Most people are shocked when they find out how bad an electrician I am.



I lost my job as a taxi driver. Turns out passengers don't appreciate it when you go the extra mile.



I quit my job to pursue archaeology. My career is now in ruins.



The other day I went to an archaeology party where we were looking for the remains of a lower leg. It was quite a shin-dig.



A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"



Also if anyone gets an email from me about tinned meat don't open it... it's SPAM.



How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? It is one or two? One... or two? One... or two?



My room mates are convinced our house is haunted, but I've never seen a ghost and I've lived here for 300 years. 



I'm excited about the amateur autopsy club I joined. Tuesday is open Mike night.

[Hooli]

My ipod never worked properly till I renamed it Titanic, it's syncing now.

I took a job as a baker once, I kneaded the dough.

[Hooli]

You might think jokes about German sausage are the Wurst, but jokes about German sausage and cheese are the Wurst Kase scenario.

A girl in the pub said she knew me from vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

[Nellywelly]

What's the difference between Roast beef and pea soup..?
Anyone can Roast beef..!

[grog]

Just saw this

[Hooli]

Just saw this

I herd the big manufactures saw that & thought how dairy

[Nellywelly]

Like this..! Is it a vegan friendly moooterbike though? 

[Tony Nitrous]

[GSXKING]

Not sure I'd get much rest with a topper like this 🙄🙄

[Hooli]

I'm glad she's machine washable 

[KiwiCol]

An oldie, but still brilliant!   

[GSXKING]

😳

[GSXKING]

Timing is everything 

[GSXKING]

Sad but true 

Young people now think fame is a career. They don't or won't put in any effort at all.
No apprentice = No future tradesmen
Robots will take over 🙄

[Hooli]

NEWSFLASH!
A man has discovered how to do origami backwards.
More on this story as it unfolds.