Whales

[VladTepes]

Two whales, a male and a female were swimming across the ocean when they spotted a Japanese whaling ship in the distance.
The male said, "That ship has killed most of my friends and family. Let's swim over, dive beneath it and blow air upwards out of our blowholes which will cause the ship to become unstable and it will topple over".
She agreed and sure enough the ship soon began to list and started sinking. At that point the Japanese crew appeared at the side rail prepared to jump overboard.
The male whale said, "Don't let them escape, we'll eat them alive as they land in the sea".
His female companion looked at him and replied, Hold on, I agreed to the blow job but never said anything about swallowing the Seamen".

[Tony Nitrous]

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. i'm on my period."

[Batkwaka]

Oldy but a goody
How do you circumcise a whale?
With Four Skin Divers.

[Speedy1959]

What do you call a Oriental gentleman with sleeping sickness, who's Father has Dysentery?

A Nap Happy Jappy with a Crap Happy Pappy !"!

[Hooli]

What do they call a flock of sheep in Wales?

A brothel.

[Notty]

What do they call a flock of sheep in Wales?

A brothel.

no its called a leisure centre 

[Tony Nitrous]

Don't care if it's fake, I laughed....