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More 'so bad they are good' jokes

Started by VladTepes, Friday, 27 September 2019, 09:40 AM

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VladTepes

My wife's constant nagging about my abysmal sense of direction got too much. So I packed up and right.

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I was feeling really glum when a colleague said, "Cheer up, Mick. It could be worse. You could be stuck down a deep hole full of water."



I know he means well.

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I call my horse Mayo.

And sometimes Mayo neighs.


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Bought my 4 year old a 1000 watt lightbulb for his birthday.

You should have seen his little face light up.

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Bridgestone asked me if I would me to get my tyres rotated in the workshop for $99 I explained to them that the tyres can rotate for free when I drive to work.

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A blonde is in the bathroom and her husband shouts "Did you find the shampoo?"  She answers "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair and I just wet mine."

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Did you hear about the man who ran through the screen door?
He strained himself.

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Paddy is walking along one of the streets of Dublin, when he bumps into Mick.

(in your best irish accent!)

Mick: Oi there Paddy

Paddy: Oi there Mick

Mick: Whatcha got there Paddy? (Pointing to a bag slung over his shoulder)

Paddy: Ah, too be sure Mick, I've got myself a bag of chickens.

Mick: Gee, Paddy do you reckon I could have one of those chickens?

Paddy: I'll tell you what I'll do, Mick, if you can guess how many chickens I have in this bag I'll give you both of them!

Mick: Ahh.....3?!!

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Nurse - What happened to your fingers?
Me - You know those chefs who cut up Veggies real fast?
Nurse - Yes
Me - I can't do that

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Is an argument between two vegans still called a beef?

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Police have issued an appeal for help after receiving multiple reports from farmers regarding cows that are being stolen during the night.

They are looking for a man with a large moo stash.

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and a favourite

Q: How do you make a socialist feel 'warm and fuzzy?

A: Give them a concussion, and set their shoes on fire.
Ottomans: 'Hippity hoppity, Vienna's our property"
...and then the Winged Hussars arrived.

Vlad's K7 "Back in Black"
YouTubeLandyVlad Rides

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