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The Vain Woman

Started by VladTepes, Monday, 17 June 2019, 10:43 AM

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VladTepes

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even
had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth!
Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as
well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While
crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by a car.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the car?"

- God replied: "I didn't bloody recognize you."
Ottomans: 'Hippity hoppity, Vienna's our property"
...and then the Winged Hussars arrived.

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