My heart is broken.

[VladTepes]

My heart is broken. My best mate is gone.

On Tuesday night I took Shawnee for a run in the park which she loved, as usual. She was doing 'zoomies' as dogs are fond of doing in the prevailing strong wind conditions.  She was off leash as usual as she is (generally speaking) a well behaved doglet.

Later that evening I noted that she wouldn't settle, she'd only sit down or lie down for a few seconds then get up and wander around - just wouldn't settle anywhere. She seemed to be carrying her right rear leg a bit so i assumed maybe she'd pulled something and that was leading to discomfort..  I examined her and when I applied even mild pressure to her abdomen she screamed.

I still wasn't hugely concerned but decided to err on the side of caution and take her to the 24 hour vet at Stafford.

Once there they had me filling in medical history forms etc while they checked her out. Apparently they pumped her with morphine for what was evidently severe pain and did an ultrasound. Evidently there was some sort of 'mass' involved (I can't remember the term) and they'd checked and noted significant internal bleeding). From what I can remember they said that best case the spleen had ruptured and it would require a more detailed ultrasound in prep for necessary surgery. Worse case it could be the liver not the spleen.    Best cased scenario with of course no guarantees whatever would be $3K in surgery costs etc. Liver would be  $10K or something silly. I can't recall exact numbers as I was pretty upset by that stage.

What was clear is that despite the morphine she was still very uncomfortable and still in some pain.  Taking further with the vet I think she was also of the opinion that it was really a lost cause and would most likely be fatal in any event.

So i had to make that heart-rending decision to have her put down. Knowing it was the kindest thing for her made it no easier for me,  The vets/nurses at the clinic were really good - I spent some time alone with Shawnee beforehand, and was there to hold her as she went to sleep forever.  I was crying but held it together to some extent during all this. Once I'd left at got out into my car I absolutely lost it. That was around 2am.  Once I'd pulled myself together I managed to drive home. I eventually managed to get to sleep and slept to about mid-day yesterday.

The house is missing that 'presence' that dogs have, and cleaning up some of her things like water bowls and bedding was really difficult.

Then when I woke up this morning without thinking I called her for breakfast - then realised she'd never come again.

She was my best mate - seen me through cancer scares, hospitalisations, a divorce, etc. She was 13 1/2 years old, Staffy x Bull Arab, and I'd had her since she was a tiny pup.

[steve porter]

Feel for you mate, been there quite a few times and it never gets any easier, go get another one straight away, won't fix it, but it sure helps

[Eric GSX1400K3]

Condolences Mike, it's always hard to see your best mate leave, at least you spent so much quality time with her,I'm sure she appreciated it all.

RIP Shawnee.

[Kiwifruit]

Sorry to hear of your loss. Kia Kaha Mike.

[KiwiCol]

I feel for you Mike, it's hard just reading it, be way worse to be living it. 

[seth]

Sad news buddy .
Never easy that's for sure.
The only thing you can do is remember all the great times with her and know her pain has stopped .

[grog]

Feel for ya Vlad. That vet trip is one lifes hardest, enjoy your memories.

[Notty]

So sad - our pets are nicer than most humans 

[DP1400]

You had no option Vlad, always gonna be a sad day at the vets under those circumstances. She had a geat friend in you and the best life, good on you for making it that way.

[Batkwaka]

About 6 years ago my cat I had for 21 years from a Kitten got up from her sleeping spot, lay at my feet and there she passed. I cried all night knowing with pride that she had chosen to be with me at the end. If only we didn't have to lose the things we love so much.
My heart goes out to you Vlad.

[gsxbarmy]

Whilst the right thing to do, always a hard and heart breaking decision. Remember her fondly for all the happy memories.

[Globalrider]

That's sad Mike!

[MarkN]

Sorry to hear of this Vlad, they are one of the family. I cried like a girl when I had to have my last one put to sleep.

[Del]

I feel your pain brother I had something very similar happen to my Springer Ozzy in 2011 and its taken me 10 years to get over it and the only way I decided to get another dog was if I could rescue one - he arrives on Tuesday and he has been in the Dogs trust for nearly a year.
It hard as mate Ive lost family and not felt as bad as when Ozzy passed

[Blubber]

Sad   

We feel for you.