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General => Off Topic => Funnies => Topic started by: VladTepes on Tuesday, 09 June 2020, 03:02 PM

Title: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: VladTepes on Tuesday, 09 June 2020, 03:02 PM
and on the third day they went to the tomb, and found it empty.

"Roiks !" said Scooby.







(joke from Hugh Dennis)
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: Hooli on Wednesday, 10 June 2020, 07:28 AM
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: KiwiCol on Wednesday, 10 June 2020, 10:07 AM
Quote from: Hooli on Wednesday, 10 June  2020, 07:28 AM
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
:happy1:
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: Batkwaka on Wednesday, 10 June 2020, 12:55 PM
And verily Zeus imprisoned the Titans underground but the jealous God Jehovah changed the names to Giants and stole the credit for doing so.
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: GSXKING on Thursday, 11 June 2020, 07:54 PM
He's not the messiah, he's just a naughty little boy......................Life of Brian  :stir: :stir: :stir: :stir: :stir:
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: GSX1400Convert on Wednesday, 17 June 2020, 01:36 PM
Moses was sitting around a fire telling his mates that he had just parted the sea, saved thousands of people and closed the sea up again drowning all the soldiers ..........
Then, he was offered more magic mushroom gravy for his camel steak.  :tongue:
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: VladTepes on Wednesday, 17 June 2020, 03:05 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rGT76dT7kI
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: GSX1400Convert on Thursday, 18 June 2020, 03:24 PM
Things you won't read in the bible... The End
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: Hooli on Thursday, 18 June 2020, 04:21 PM
Based on a true story.
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: Kiwifruit on Thursday, 18 June 2020, 04:22 PM
Quote from: GSXKING on Thursday, 11 June  2020, 07:54 PM
He's not the messiah, he's just a naughty little boy......................Life of Brian  :stir: :stir: :stir: :stir: :stir:


"C'mon Brian lets go to the stoning"  :worshippy:
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: GSXKING on Thursday, 18 June 2020, 07:57 PM
Legend has it.......as we are told  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: Mick_J on Thursday, 18 June 2020, 08:41 PM
Once upon a time.

and

And they all lived happily ever after.

Isn't that the start and finish of all fairy tales.
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: grog on Thursday, 18 June 2020, 08:48 PM
Moses was lost in the desert for 40 years before his wife said, shouldnt we ask for directions.
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: MarkN on Thursday, 18 June 2020, 09:02 PM
No really, we don't need your money
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: Hooli on Friday, 19 June 2020, 02:22 AM
Based on a true story.
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: Hooli on Friday, 19 June 2020, 02:23 AM
All characters in this book are fictional and bear no resemblance to any real people alive or dead.
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: GSX1400Convert on Friday, 19 June 2020, 01:16 PM
Verily I say unto you; Happy is the man who sitteth on a barbed wire fence, for he shall surely rise.
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: Rynglieder on Saturday, 20 June 2020, 09:55 PM

And the lord said unto Moses in his triumph, "come forth" - but Moses came fifth and god lost his beer money.
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: VladTepes on Monday, 22 June 2020, 11:04 AM
Quote from: Rynglieder on Saturday, 20 June  2020, 09:55 PM
Moses in his triumph

Moses may have a  Triumph but God rides a 1400 !
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: Batkwaka on Monday, 22 June 2020, 06:02 PM
The Story your about to read is based on a true mythology, only the names have changed to suit the Pantheon!
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: grog on Monday, 22 June 2020, 06:26 PM
Noah put his Ark up for sale. A couple inspected it, told him they really liked but has a strange aroma. Did you have a pet?
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: lawrie on Tuesday, 23 June 2020, 06:22 AM
And the lord said   'let there be light'   there WAS light,   & you could see for fuckin miles. :laugh:
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: Mick_J on Tuesday, 23 June 2020, 06:55 PM
Every day is a learning day.  I didn't know AC/DC contributed to the bible, never heard it mentioned before.

3f2g4RMfhS0
Title: Re: Things you won't read in the bible...
Post by: Del on Wednesday, 24 June 2020, 04:21 AM
Love early ACDC - seen them in 1978 at the Apollo in Glasgow with my (still) best mate