The English are feeling the pinch in relation to the recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."
The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
The virus has been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's Get the Bastard." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled."
So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
Priceless!! :clapping: :rofl2:
They definitely have the shits about it in Oz, all the supermarkets are sold out of bog roll.
https://www.news.com.au/finance/business/retail/everyone-has-just-gone-a-little-bit-crazy-australias-toilet-roll-panic/news-story/25c4ccd2a27e8f90d9474955e94deb4d
one Tesco store in Cardiff made an extra £45,000 above normal yesterday due to panic buying :bugga:
Quote from: Irish in Oz on Friday, 06 March 2020, 06:00 AM
They definitely have the shits about it in Oz, all the supermarkets are sold out of bog roll.
Spot on Irish. Australia now has a hit list of of countries citizens we are blocking entry. China (PRC), Iran and South Korea. Italians are being health checked. Coincidentally Melbourne has a F1 race coming up. Italy might go on the above list after the race.Only a cynic would say that.
Make sure you are careful with your travel arrangement if your coming to Oz. Looks like we're becoming more choosey and remember to bring bog paper.
This household is now down to ten rolls so I've scouted the garage for an old phone book.
Just remember riding your bike should be a virus free zone. There are greater dangers out there on the roads.
Stay safe.
:rofl2: :lol: :rofl3: :lol: :rofl2:
Toilet Roll sorted for all Aussies.
Brilliant!!!! :clapping:
:happy1: :rofl2:
Bonesy