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General => Off Topic => Funnies => Topic started by: VladTepes on Monday, 08 April 2019, 03:24 PM

Title: Governmentium
Post by: VladTepes on Monday, 08 April 2019, 03:24 PM
Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.  This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.   This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
Title: Re: Governmentium
Post by: KiwiCol on Monday, 08 April 2019, 03:33 PM
That's a cracker Mike!   :happy1:  If you thought all that up, god help Mrs Vlad.
Title: Re: Governmentium
Post by: ARH on Monday, 08 April 2019, 04:42 PM
 :rofl2: :rofl2: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

Excellent!
Title: Re: Governmentium
Post by: Mick_J on Monday, 08 April 2019, 06:11 PM
I bet we have the most of it here in the UK.  :angry:
Title: Re: Governmentium
Post by: Mrg on Monday, 08 April 2019, 06:57 PM
Definitely one to think about but very good mate  :onya:
Title: Re: Governmentium
Post by: VladTepes on Tuesday, 09 April 2019, 12:02 AM
Alas I can't claim credit  :)