10 yrs ago my son/wife wanted a house. we went guarantors. Bank promised every letter sent to them would also come to us. nearly 100g, a lot in my life. only ever got 2 letters, they had defaulted on payments. ask me how that makes you sleep. well all sorted, tomorrow we sign release papers. 10 yrs of hell nearly over. even for family, dont ever put your self in same place. they are now getting divorced, strongest marriage ever i thought. apparently nothing is as it sometimes seems. happy night for me.
Wow, tough that....
Once I had left home I wouldn't ever have asked my dad to stand as a guarantor for me, he would have said, you got yourself in this shit, get yourself out.
After l got divorced l was unable to raise a mortgage to pay out the "old dried arrangement". With my parents going gaurantor l was able to get the mortgage and retain the property. In around two years the property had increased in value and l was able to get the place revalued and release them from the security. I was very grateful for their help.
That said l would not do the same for my kids. Different times, different attitudes.
I hear you Grog. Pleased you can now sleep easy.
Grog,
I've worked with someone who has been left nearly bankrupt in a similar
situation, it's good to give your kids a helping hand but it shouldn't be a
free ride.
I'm glad your situation worked out OK.
Rick
I know your pain Grog. Glad it's worked out in the end.
Thankfully now you can take your life off hold and start to enjoy it some more
I have adopted a bit of a bad habbit with my two sons, although one is 21 this year and still lives at home & the other is 26 this year and has purchased his first house with his Mrs and my first Grandchild, both of my lads work for a living as does the eldest's son's Mrs, if there are ever any unexpected bills that crop up I will take control of any arrangements & also settle the bills, to be fair they never ask but I do it because fortunately at the moment I am able to and I wouldn't want them to struggle financially as happened to me some 15 years ago due to the circumstances at the time, there was no one to help me out so I made sure I did it myself working 70+ hours a week for 12 years
I know that maybe I am being overgenerous at times such as new year when I transferred them both some cash for no real reason and maybe not really helping but I do get a great deal of please seeing them happy and not full of worries, been there done that and wouldn't wish it on anyone! Is this really wrong though?
Cheers
Pete...
Quote from: Will14 on Friday, 08 February 2019, 07:18 AM
but I do it because fortunately at the moment I am able to and I wouldn't want them to struggle financially as happened to me some 15 years ago due to the circumstances at the time, there was no one to help me out so I made sure I did it myself working 70+ hours a week for 12 years
Good point Pete - that is also the way I look at it - I am able to help the kids out so I will.
I have not had the challenge of either of them asking me to guarantee anything and I don't think I would - but I have not been in that situation so cannot say for sure.
Good to hear it has finally ended Grog.
Ive helped mine out on a few times with deposits for cars and mortgages but thats it !..... life is tough and you have to learn that and learn not to over exstend your self , and giving them all the time does mot help them take responsibility for there disisions in life .
Ive been married before and she left me with £30,000 i new nothing about but i worked my butt off to pay it off and it tought me a valuble lesson ..... allways keep a keen eye on your finances and never over stretch !
Thanks for all the replys fellas. weve helped both kids lots, borrow a bit, never worried about pay back, sometimes they did. mortgage thing was a biggie. no regrets at all. gotta do what you gotta do. my both unreal kids in maturity, my daughter picks me up twice a year, footy game at suncorp stadium , all payed for. last year we had beers in members bar. 4th row seats, best league ground in oz. i come home smiling. shared with her and 3 grandkids. unreal.
BTW, Wally Lewis is statue, simply the best . Grand kids, also the best.
Quote from: grog on Friday, 08 February 2019, 07:14 PM
Thanks for all the replys fellas. weve helped both kids lots, borrow a bit, never worried about pay back, sometimes they did. mortgage thing was a biggie. no regrets at all. gotta do what you gotta do. my both unreal kids in maturity, my daughter picks me up twice a year, footy game at suncorp stadium , all payed for. last year we had beers in members bar. 4th row seats, best league ground in oz. i come home smiling. shared with her and 3 grandkids. unreal.
So you'd know who Gene Miles is then?
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Yes Tony, another of my heroes. Not much i dont know about Qld NRL. Early 80s used to go to Lang Park on Sundays. Wally , Meninga, Belcher, were great days. Alfie Langer is a local here. Our electrician also a great player and Nick Patterson , our top cop was also brilliant.